Time for a little change!

So as you can see my blog has had a little make-over! I decided it was time for a little re-vamping of the blog to keep it interesting and so I got some help from Summer- who did a fabulous job don't you think?! (Thanks Summer!)

The top left picture is an old one...actually 4 years old to be exact! As I was thinking of- and searching for a picture for the header-to sum up what my life is about in Ukraine, this is the picture that I kept coming back to-- a picture that has been dear to me ever since it was taken. It's a picture that often reminds me of the initial calling that God gave me for the orphans in this country-and not only a reminder of that calling- but of God's faithfulness to provide and answer prayers.

The little girl in the picture was named Ira. I met her in the fall of 2004 at the Berdyansk orphanage in southern Ukraine. It was my first time in a large state run institution and I had only been in Ukraine 1 month- still wondering what in the world I was doing here and how on earth I could ever be of use?! But it was on that unexpected little trip that God changed the course of my future.

Through a group of 12-year-old girls, he gave me a new vision- a heart for the fatherless, for adoption and a desire to encourage and support families on their adoption journey. Ira was the first little girl I met that weekend-- at the time she was only 11 years old. She took my hand, and as a result she won my heart. When I returned to Kiev after the few days spent with Ira and her friends I odly discovered a picture of the same little girl- in the trash can in the place where I was living. I still to this day have no idea how that picture got there. It is beyond explanation. But I knew in that moment that I would commit to pray for Ira and pray that a family would come for her. So I taped that little picture into the front of my Bible. I didn't even know if she was available for adoption- I just desperately wanted her to have a family.

Two years later God answered that prayer and an amazing Christian family came to adopt Ira...now Erin. I still stand in awe of God's faithfulness...in all the details!! So the picture I chose for the blog is a reminder of that faithfulness. A reminder that this work is not in vain...that the Lord does hear, he does answer....and he truly does restore beauty from where ashes remained.

2 weeks ago I had the joy of being reunited with Erin here in Kiev! On a mission trip with her family and ministry partners, she returned to Ukraine for the first time since her adoption. As you can see, she's grown a bit since the last time we were together in Ukraine! Now a beautiful young woman. It still amazes me the way that our God weaves stories together. The way he uses his children to be apart of his work and the way he blesses us with the ability to see the realization of answered prayers.

So the picture is a reminder that I need to keep praying. Because honestly I can often forget. Or maybe it isn't that I forget- maybe I am just tempted to give up. When I feel like nothing is changing or I'm not seeing breakthroughs- it's easier to give up.

But then I remember little Ira. And I'm reminded that she is now Erin. And that gives me hope and challenges me to keep praying for the other kids I meet along the way.

Russia calls for halt on US adoptions after boy is sent back

Many of you I'm sure have seen the recent news about the American woman who put her 7-year-old (recently adopted) Russian son, back on an airplane to Moscow, with a note attached for him to be delivered to the ministry of education. If you want the NY times version of the story you can click here

Being that I work in the sphere of orphan ministry and have helped with numerous adoptions over the years, people have been asking for my opinion on this whole situation.
After hearing the adoption community buzz and all of the expressed outrage against this 'unfit' mother, I have to say that there has been one huge oversight on the real issue at hand...an issue that is not receiving media attention.

First off, do I think that it was wrong to just send this little boy back to Russia in the way that this woman did? Yes. This has been the thrust of the media attention. Crazy, cruel woman. Poor little orphan boy.

What is clear to me is that this woman was in a crisis situation and she reacted in fear to a child that she was ill-equipped to parent. In the best case scenario she should have turned to local social agencies for help instead of sending the boy back to Russia-- as her decision has now had repercussions on the entire Russian adoption world-- immediate moratorium.

However, this is where the story has stopped in it's media coverage. I think the bigger question is why did the child act out in the way he did to begin with? Where did his bizarre and violent behavior come from? Russia and the world are currently reacting in anger and outrage at the irresponsibility of Americans (generalized of course) over ONE child that was sent back to an orphanage. It’s horrible I agree. But why are they not reacting with the same outrage and anger toward the Russian system that currently holds nearly 800,000 children captive in its orphanages? Why villanize just one woman, when a whole nation is not willing to take responsibility for a huge moral and social short-coming? Blame shifting is much easier.

And why are we not even more concerned about what is happening inside the walls of those orphanages? What is happening that is causing a child to act out in the way he did when he was placed in a family? What has childhood trauma and institutionalization done to rob these youth of their innocence? To me these are the biggest evils that this story exposes. It’s about sooo much more than one woman and one boy.

The NY Times article quotes that there have been 14 reported deaths of Russian children in America since 1996. However they neglect to report how many deaths have happened in Russia by adoptive Russian families as well as how many disrupted adoptions have occurred. That number is drastically higher.

This isn't a 'Russian children being murdered in American homes problem.' It's a lot bigger then that. What is clearer to me more then ever is that families who adopt need more education and training about what it means to parent traumatized and abused children (the vast majority of children adopted in Ukraine and Russia!). This is the bigger issue brought to light through the story of 7-year-old Artyom who was sent back to Russia. I'm not excusing what this woman did. I just think that by putting all the focus on the 'mean mom' that returns the 'poor little orphan' boy-- we take away from a deeper issue. What is being done to educate adoptive parents and what is being done to prevent children from being placed in the orphanage system to begin with?

I’m just asking the questions….and praying about how I can best be used as part of the solution.

Jesus, be with Artyom. Heal his wounded and broken spirit; destroy the wok of the enemy in his life. May you take the wounds of his past and turn them around for your glory. May his story be one of healing and redemption that will bring your name honor. And for the woman who couldn’t be his mother…Jesus comfort her as well, heal her anger and deliver her from fear bring those into her life that will love her and bring Godly counsel. In your mighty name…amen.

Tale of the drinking Barbie doll

Last weekend I was asked to travel with our musical group from our mission and perform again as you guessed it...the Barbie doll. She's beginning to grow on me I think. Well...maybe just a little. I mean who doesn't like dressing up like a popular American iconic doll and then attempting to speak Russian in front of adoring Ukrainian children? Quite delightful really.

Unless....

So after living in Ukraine for 5 years now I never make any cultural faux pas. Who me??? Never. So therefore when I was on stage last weekend playing the life size Barbie doll and the narrator was singing the song about a telephone, I surely did NOT make a gesture with my hand that was culturally misinterpreted. I mean come on, I would have already known after living here for so many years, that putting up your hand in the shape of a telephone really means you want to go have a drink or go get drunk and doesn't mean you want to give the person a call! So no, there is no possible way I would have made this gesture to the lead singer while she was singing this song, and kept smiling along merrily as I was lifting up my so called 'telephone'.

And certainly I would never have done this in a production in front of 300 children.

Never.

Not me.

See? Totally innocent! Totally.

Recent Life Skills training

Last week we held a 4-day training for our life skills curriculum here in Kiev and had 19 volunteers go through the course. This is the training we hold twice a year for people from throughout Ukraine who are already doing work with orphans (or graduated orphans) or who desire to begin work in this area and are looking for more resources and education.

I am always amazed how this course turns out!! Just when we think we don't have enough people signed up to put on the training, the last hour chimes and the phone starts ringing! We had people from 6 different regions of Ukraine in attendance and even one woman from Moldova. As always I was humbled and encouraged by their stories of how timely this training was for their perspective ministries. Several people mentioned how they were getting ready to write such a material and then they learned of our material and training! Such a direct answer to prayer!
Among our group of volunteers we had former drug addicts, those who had served time in prison, foster moms, pastors, and students! Talk about a group with a lot of interesting stories and experiences! It was awesome getting to hear their various stories and hear how they came to know the Lord, how their lives were transformed and how they are now serving others- namely orphans.

This was also the first training where I was able to do some teaching. Usually I'm just in charge of the organizational aspects of these trainings, but this time I was recruited to teach some of the sample lessons. My favorite of course was when I did the lesson on 'bad habits' and was able to demonstrate that smoking a cigarette is like inhaling chemicals for cleaning and finger-nail polish remover! Similar chemicals are used in both. Activities like these are used to give them ideas of creative demonstrations for their youth. They got a kick out of watching me 'smoke'!

We are very excited that 19 more people are now equipped with this training and material to take into the orphanages throughout Ukraine!! To date we have trained nearly 500 people from Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, Moldova, Armenia, Romania, Kazakhstan and Moldova with this curriculum. Our next training will be in Western Ukraine in May.

Sweet Reunion

Last weekend I traveled south with 3 friends to reconnect with some of the kids who were at our July camp in the Nikolaev region. The kids we came to visit live in 2 different orphanages in the region. We had promised all fall that we would come...and it always feels great to keep a promise!

The visits were short, but I have to say the 9 hour train ride and 11 hour bus ride home were worth the sweet hugs and smiles we received. I think what will never cease to blow my mind is how much these simple visits mean to them. I use the word kids loosely too, as Lina is already 18. And yet at 18 she still held on tightly to me and cried as we said our goodbyes.

For those of you that remember, Lina

was the girl I wrote about this last August, the girl who I was able to pray with and who I was able to give a Bible to. She has a very sweet and gentle spirit and just a heart to love others- which is so apparent in the way all the little kids in the orphanage come running up to her and throw their arms around her! Please keep Lina in your prayers and that she will continue to seek out a deeper understanding of what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. She has such a tender heart and great dreams for her future, so I am really praying she will be used by God.

And since this is Ukraine, we did manage to add a little bit of drama on our weekend trip as well. We showed up at the second orphanage on Sunday (after riding on a bus 5.5 hours to get to the middle of nowhere location) and were planning on spending the afternoon hanging out with girls that my friend Yulia had gotten to know from her group at the camp. But there was a little bit of a mix-up in the fact that the director wasn't made aware of our arrival and thus after 30 minutes of hanging out with the girls we were kicked out. So sad! I know the directors have the right to decide who does and who doesn't get to be on their territory, but given the fact that we had come all the way from Kiev I thought she might have a little bit of mercy.

But again, this is Ukraine. Mercy not usually given.

But I have to say the 30 minutes we spent with the girls were very precious and so were all the smiles the kids had when they realized how far Yulia had come to see them. So we said our quick goodbyes, handed out a few gifts as the director gazed on with her eyes that seemed to say, 'I told you to leave!' and headed back from whence we came. We trekked back down our deserted road in the middle of nowhere and found a bus to take us to another little town where we could catch another 6 hour bus back to Kiev. All in a day's work I must say!

Anyone considering a visit anytime soon?? I promise there is always some adventure waiting to happen around here! Not to mention some pretty sweet kids who are sure to make you fall in love with them real fast.

Great place to wait for a bus...

And another goes home...

I first met this spunky, lively little girl named Rimma in 2007 when we brought a group of orphans from Kherson to Virginia and Colorado with the Shoemaker play. She was one of those heart stealing type of girls. She was 11 years old, bounced off the walls and had a smile that melted the hearts of all she met- including me. She had a sassy side too, which kept you on your toes, but I could tell this was a girl determined to find herself a family, along with her friend Zina. So it was no surprise when she won the hearts of Felix and Heidi Roge instantly! Their hearts ached when they learned that Rimma wasn't registered for international adoption...but they didn't let that stop them and they fought the fight that very few are willing to take on-- the Ukrainian 'system'! It has been quite a journey for them to bring her home...over 2 years of waiting to be exact. But with great joy I can now say that Rimma's long wait is finally realized and she has gone home to her forever family in Colorado!! Yesterday Rimma landed on American soil and was officially stamped to become an American citizen!

Felix and Rimma stayed with me in Kiev this past week as they were finishing up everything at the US embassy. It was so special to have that time with them and to reminisce about the past two years and all that has transpired

to get them to this point. I've seen a lot of kids adopted over the years and I have to say I'm really touched and blessed by Rimma's perspective. This week as we were sitting around the kitchen table she shared her heart and said, "you know, I've seen a lot of kids go to America because they think they'll have a better life, more money, and more opportunities. And I know that I'll have those things...but honestly the only reason I ever wanted to go to America was so that I would have a family to love me and to support me....I've never had that. I've never had that kind of love." From the mouth of a 13-year-old. Felix and I told her to remember that perspective when things get hard...because there will be hard moments for sure. Rimma truly see's the Lord's hand in her adoption process even throughout the past two years of waiting. A lot of wisdom for a 13-year-old in my opinion. So proud of you Rimma!

The faith journey continues for the Roge family as they wait out the next year to bring home their second daughter, Zina, who they met along with Rimma in 2007. Zina is still waiting out the 'system' so that she will be available for international adoption. Zina is another young lady wise beyond her years, clinging to faith that yes- this adoption will happen!

Our prayer is that at this time next year (if not before!) there will be one more smiling Roge daughter entering through the immigration line at the Denver airport!

If you want to follow the Roge's journey click here.

Street dog challenge....

Ahhh how can I live in Ukraine and not give at least one 'shout out' to the street dogs? I have this mixed feeling of hate and pity towards the poor creatures.

Yesterday I was on a walk and came across the sorry pack of dogs pictured above...apparently trying to curl up to get warm. Guess they didn't realize that curling up closer creates warmth!

So here is your street dog challenge...how many street dogs can you count in this picture? Post your answer in the comment section.

12 years

A while back at church we had a guest speaker who spoke from Mark chapter 5, where Jesus heals a sick woman and raises a dead girl to life. He noted that this incident was documented in 3 of the 4 gospels and so I decided I’d go home & do a little more study on these miraculous healings. Matthew 9, Mark 5, and Luke 8 all give accounts of Jesus healing the woman who was subject to bleeding and the little girl who had died.

Now these are accounts I’ve read numerous times as a believer, however upon reading them all together, I was struck with an interesting piece of information that I’d never noticed before. All 3 of the accounts state that the woman had been subject to bleeding for 12 years, which is something I think we can just read right over. But think about it—she was suffering for 12 whole years of her life- and all the authors thought it important to make note of this.

Then in two of the accounts something else jumped out at me that I don’t remember reading before—the little girl who had died was 12 years old. I found it interesting that the gospel writers thought it important to note how old the girl was- and then I realized-- it matched the same length of time that the woman had been bleeding!

This shared number caused me to start thinking more about these two individuals. Neither the woman nor the girl is named in any of the accounts- and yet we are given information about specific years of their lives. I realized that when this little girl was born, this woman started bleeding. As the little girl learned to walk, and talk and play, this woman was suffering and spending all she had on doctors and treatments. As this little girl matured, the woman suffered still and probably wondered if she would ever find healing. She had no freedom from her pain.

Joy and pain were co-existing… probably only miles away. Such a picture of real life.

Suddenly all that changed for the little girl and her family, because at the age of 12, she was dying. Of what, we don’t know. Suddenly her situation was as desperate as the bleeding woman she knew nothing of.

Amazing how pain and suffering bring us to a point of unity and suddenly we have so much in common with people we’ve perhaps never met. Suddenly our need for healing- our need of deliverance unites us…makes us desperate for a savior.

Enter Jesus.

We know the story. The woman- in desperation and in faith, reaches out to touch Jesus- convinced that he can heal her. And he does. His power goes out from him and instantly she is healed. Instantly. 12 years of suffering and living as an outcast have ended in a second—her life will never be the same! Jesus tells her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Her faith.

Next come in the friends of the 12-year-old’s father—telling him it is too late- the daughter has died. Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." He did…and she was.

Just believe.

I keep thinking about this passage…trying to “get it” or grasp it. Does healing come as a result of our faith? Or because of the faith of others? Why do some suffer so long, while others are healed instantly?

The more I ask these questions and look at this passage the more I realize that the answers aren’t cut and dry. They never really are, are they? I’m also challenged to consider that perhaps the answers to these questions aren’t so important.

I may never understand God’s timing…but these stories remind me of a Truth. The truth that God cares about our pain and he wants us to reach out to him…to grasp at the hem of his robe and realize our desperate need of a Savior- whether we’ve known it for 12 years, or we’ve only just become conscious of our need.

Reach out in faith…and keep reaching. And look around you…sometimes we have to reach out in faith for others- when they’ve lost the strength to reach out for themselves.

L*O*V*E

This weekend in honor of Valentine's Day we had a little cupcake decorating party! I've got 'control' (or so I'd like to think) of the Weber brood this weekend as Steve and Kristi are traversing around England celebrating their 22 years of marriage.

We always manage to have fun of our own in their absence though...including traipsing through a crazy snow storm to get to church this morning. We were all a little wet and weary for the wear by the time we walked in I think. In all the years I've been in Ukraine, this is by the snowiest I've ever seen! I'm so ready to see some spring sunshine!!

I always enjoy these sweet babysitting times with my cousins-- they keep me on my toes but they have lots of love to share as well...including the youngest finding his way into my bed around 3am every night- claiming it is 'too loud' in his room! How can you say no to that? :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Perfecting the art of saying goodbye…or trying to

One thing I’ve come to realize about my life is that it is continually full of ‘goodbyes.’ Some of them more permanent then others, but the reality is that they are always there—whether in Ukraine or the US, I can’t escape the fact that either I or the people around me seem in continual motion.

No matter how many times I come and go from ‘home’ (even that word has started to have multiple meanings) I still have the same feelings surface as I have to pack up my bags and again say goodbye to some of the people I love the most- as I did a week ago. Tucking my sweet nephew in for the final time, that final trip to the airport, that last tearful look towards my mom as she waves me on through the security line and I do my best to remain composed…- it’s as if in these moments all the emotions boil to the surface and there is this little part of me that is tempted to run back and say, ‘Okay! I’ll stay.’ Suddenly that tiny part of me that would rather stay in the safer place wants to burst out and run back into the arms of ‘home’.

But somehow, when I find myself alone, seated on the tarmac, engines starting, with some stranger sitting next to me, I close my eyes and I hear that familiar still small voice whisper ever so gently, ‘trust Me, you are right where you are supposed to be.’

I can’t tell you how many times in moments like this I have opened my Bible and the words that seem to find me are these: “Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:29

Believe me, I’m not trying to paint myself as some saint because I know I am far from it. But the reality is that when I read those words they are just so tangible to me. The people that Jesus lists in that passage are real and have faces of people attached to them- faces of people that I love. Which makes reading that passage even harder at times. But reading those words and reading the promise helps to remind myself of why I’m living in Ukraine. It has to be because of Jesus. And ultimately that helps puts these quick earthly goodbyes in perspective.

But in all actuality I prefer to say, ‘I’ll see you soon!’

Some sweet moments from my time at home...

Christmas morning

weekend with some of my dearest friends

and...one of the hardest parts of saying goodbye! I mean- look at those eyes!! :)

Highlights of 2009

While I've been at home as I was able to do a presentation in my church about my life in Ukraine and the

recent happenings in ministry and in life. I put together this little video as a 'highlight' of sorts for 2009 and

thought I'd share it here as well for you all to get a different kind of glimpse.

The song I used, "Albertine" by Brooke Fraiser has become quite special to me. She wrote the song after

a trip to Rwanda and was convicted by the Lord to share the stories of those she met...specifically a girl

named Albertine. Her song has reminded me that it is the faces that matter-- it is their stories that matter.

That's why I try to share them here with you all.

So take a look into the eyes I was privledged to look into this year...they all have stories of their own to tell.

Sweet Reunions

I've been having fun getting caught up with family and friends while I'm home, but one of the sweetest moments was seeing Oksana Jones for the first time at my home church. Many of you may remember when I wrote about Oksana when she was being adopted by a couple from my home church last winter.
Well now she is home and speaking beautiful English! When I said goodbye to her in April I told her she'd be speaking English the next time I saw her. She didn't believe me at the time, but I was right! She is doing awesome with her language. It amazes me how quick these kiddos learn!

We had a very sweet reunion at church on Christmas Eve! And my dad and her dad had a fun time capturing the moment on camera! It was a very special moment seeing her for the first time.

I also got to spend the day with their family at home over the new year. When I walked in, Oksana said, "will you do my hair like yours?" Next her little sister Kylie wanted her hair done, and then we decided Natasha needed to join us as well, so I taught Oksana how to do her Mom's hair. Never knew I could start a fashion trend so quickly!

It was awesome getting to spend the day with them and just catch up on life.

I love you Jones family and feel blessed to be a part of your journey!!

our 'fancy' hairstyles!