2 Less

I just love it when God allows us to see answered prayer in a real and tangible way.  I've said this before, but it is worth repeating- I never get tired of seeing kids adopted into family!  I love the picture of God's grace. I love the story of redemption. I love seeing beauty made from what was left for ashes.


Last summer we stepped out on a limb with our Window to Hope project when we brought 13 kids (gulp) to the Seattle area for 3 weeks.  I knew that the sole purpose of the trip was not adoption. I knew the goal was to give the kids a summer of a life time and to expose families from my home church to the needs of orphans in Ukraine (and worldwide).  But being completely honest, of course I was praying that some of our families would be open to pursuing adoption! It seems as though God heard those prayers.  


Two of the girls we brought (who originally weren't even supposed to go on the trip) are currently in the process of being adopted by an amazing family from my church in WA state.  David and Amber arrived last week to start the adoption process of Yulia and Ilona (now Abigail and Zoe) and I was able to travel with them to the region and witness the first squeals of joy and see their sweet hugs of being reunited, now thousands of miles from where they first met last summer.

Reunited in Ukraine with mom and dad and big brother Michael.

I love how God has moved in the lives of David and Amber to adopt these two girls.  Let's just say that these two were some of our 'difficult' ones this summer, so when David called me to say that they were wanting to pursue adoption, I was a little shocked at first.  I started to list off some of the issues that the girls had and shared some of the problems we'd had with them- as in my opinion these were not 'easy' girls.  After all, I sure didn't want some family walking into an adoption with rose-colored glasses thinking they were adopting Ukrainian angels and then be shocked when the real behavior came out!   David assured me that his 'laundry list' on the girls was longer than mine.  He went on to list all the bad behavior they had, all the chaos that they had caused and all the problems that he could see that they were dealing with.  And then what he said next, will forever remain in my mind.  "They're horrible.  They're awful sinners.  But they need Jesus just as much as anyone and I believe we are the family that can begin to help them." My eyes were welling with tears and I was speechless. 'Okay' I said, 'you're in- you get it!' 


I have reflected on that conversation with David so many times. I can't tell you how many people I meet who want to sign up for something 'easy'- for something 'manageable.'  People want to adopt and they want to adopt the least 'messy' situation out there.  We're human. I get that.  We like comfortable. We like easy. But last time I checked, Jesus didn't really call us to 'easy' or 'comfortable.'  The reality is that most kids in Ukraine are orphans because of a messy situation, and they need families who are willing to walk into that mess, find the beauty and point them to Jesus.  This family was willing to do that.

The irony of it all is that one of these sisters was the one who had a full on melt down in the Paris airport on our way to Seattle! After reading the letter from her host family stating family rules and expectations she ran away and was yelling at me, swearing she would never go to America and never stay with this family!  I like to remind her of this story now, and she just smiles and laughs- as if it never happened! Amazing what family can do.


There are about to be two less orphans in Ukraine because one family took Jesus at his word and left 'comfortable' behind.  


Thanking God for answered prayers,

Reaching Ukrainian Adoptive Families

I'd like to tell you about a growing movement among Christians in Ukraine. Today Ukrainian families are moving forward to solve the orphan crisis in their country and are facing the problem of 30,000 orphans head on through adoption!!

At Orphan's Promise we are excited to be part of the solution by advocating the adoption movement in Ukraine.  Through partnerships with local churches and ministries I have seen growth in adoptions in the time I've been here.  Whereas 7 years ago there were hardly any Christians adopting-- now there is an entire movement!! And the movement is growing.

The problem is that many families are stepping forward to adopt but are not equipped to handle the issues that adopted children face. With virtually no resources or counseling for adoptive parents in Ukraine, families have had nowhere to turn for help in their moments of crisis and often children are sent back to the orphanage.  If you are an adoptive parent-- you know what these moments of crisis can look like.

That is why Orphan's Promise is partnering with the Alliance Ukraine Without Orphans  and other local ministries to provide a national conference for Ukrainian adoptive families!

 Two years ago we had the opportunity to be the initiators of the first ever-national adoption conference, Strengthening Families, where we reached over 100 adoptive families who are parenting over 350 children combined!

This Ukrainian family adopted 7 kids!

The success was amazing as families shared it was the most encouragement and practical education they had ever received and the first time they had received resources in their native language!

So we are moving forward to reach more families this March with the second Strengthening Families Conference. Our goal is to equip another 100 parents to be able to provide healing homes for their adoptive children and that these families will be further advocates for adoption!

The thing I love about this conference is that it is pouring resources INTO the nation.  I love when kids are adopted to America, but I also know it is amazing when they are able to be adopted into Christian homes in Ukraine and when we can come along side that vision and pour our resources into a country whose resources are limited. 

Now here is where YOU come in!  We are have a little more money to raise to cover conference costs and airfare for speakers who will be flying in to take part.  Will you pray about making a contribution INTO the nation of Ukraine and the future of former orphans?

2 boys- HIV+ and adopted by a Ukrainian family that attended our conference in 2010

Your gift will enable low-income families in Ukraine to attend this once in a lifetime weekend conference where they will be encouraged and equipped. Families who currently are raising between 1-10 children

The cost of one American family to adopt one child from Ukraine can be around $40,000. For that same price we will be able to host a conference that will benefit over 100 families and over 300 children! Amazing what can be accomplished for the same price!

Please email me if you have questions- and to make a donation you can go to a special fundraising site I've set up through CBN:  http://my.cbn.com/familyconference

*All donations are tax deductible.

Thank you to those who have already given!

Goodbye to my longest guests and faithful friends....

I have had the privilege of hosting some dear friends for the past 7 weeks (well I was gone for 3 of those weeks!).  
Clarke and Kris Stoesz have been staying with my while they have been completing the adoption of their daughter Samantha Rose.  This has been one of those long stories in the making, as they waited over a year for their lovely daughter to be available for adoption.  We brought Samantha (then Ana) on a hosting/camp trip to the US in the summer of 2010 in partnership with Ukraine Orphan Outreach and it was there that she met the Stoesz family... and well, you know how the story goes!  A connection was made to say the least.   It took a long while for everything to get in order with Samantha's documents,  but I was thrilled to learn that this Christmas season would be the time to welcome the Stoesz family to Ukraine!


Clarke and Kris are on my list of heroes of the faith.  This is their 4th (yep that's right- you read 4) adoption and their love and dedication towards the orphans of Ukraine continue to inspire me. I've had the privilege of partnering with them in ministry for about 4 years now as we have teamed up to bring kids to the US for summer camps and have partnered together in continuing relationships with the kids in the orphanages.  They seek to glorify God in all they do and I see that their ministry is truly one that seeks what is always best for the children.  Not to mention the fact that they appreciate all things Ukrainian and have such a love for this country.  They also have quite the sense of adventure and managed to take overnight trains to 3 separate regions of Ukraine while they were here--despite the fact that they only had to be in Kiev for their adoption!  Gotta love adventure- right?

Samantha, Kris, Rhya and Natalie

Though I love opening my home to all the different families I've met on this 'hospitality' journey-- I always count it as a true honor when I get to open my home to people that I already consider dear friends. And after sharing a living space for over 4 weeks I'd say we've earned the right to say we are even closer!   Nothing like brushing your teeth together to be bonded for life!


Their daughters Rhya and Natalie (also adopted from Ukraine- pictured above) were able to be a part of the adoption adventure for the first month and it was fun getting to know their spunky personalities while they were here in Kiev.  It was a full house and I wouldn't have had it any other way!


Since returning from the US last week I have so enjoyed the time I've had getting to know sweet Samantha.  What a precious young lady she is and a joy she has been to have in my home. She has got to be one of the most helpful kids and I've yet to hear an ounce of complaining come out of this girl's mouth.  I'm going to miss her sweet smile (and the after dinner dish washing too!).  I know she will be a huge blessing to the Stoesz family-- as she has been the missing piece to their family puzzle.

I know my home will feel the void of the Stoesz family when they get on that airplane on Friday-- but I know my heart will be fuller as a result of the time they spent with me! (Cue heart warming music here). :)


*To read more of their story and adventure click HERE

Unmet Expectations

Expectations are something we have to deal with in all areas of our lives.  While it may be good to have expectations-- when our expectations go unmet we can face a whole range of emotions from disappointment to anger to sadness to frustration.  In my life, something I constantly struggle with is dealing with unmet expectations. When I realize an expectation goes unmet, it helps me to adjust my expectations the next time around or in similar situations. 


Adoption is an area jam packed with expectations. Expectations from the adoptive parents, the adopted children, community and family members.  There is no way around it-- whether we want to have expectations or not, they find a way to creep in.  Having met countless adoptive families in the past 7 years I've seen people with a wide range of expectations for 'how things will go' once returning home with their child(ren).  I always try to be careful with families as I offer council on how to deal with the transition ahead, as I want to be aware of how much they are ready to hear!  But it is clear that there are expectations at stake already.

I've been reading a book called Wounded Children Healing Homes- How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families. The book was written by a dear friend and colleague of mine, Jayne E. Schooler.  I highly recommend this book to any of you adoptive parents out there or anyone currently considering adoption.  


As I have read the book and the stories of the wounded children shared within, I have thought of the countless faces of children and families that have crossed my threshold in the past year.  It is a reminder that my home is only the beginning of their journey-- the real work comes once they land back in the US and begin to transition into being a family.


Jayne's book starts off with a list of expectations that adoptive parents commonly have.... expectations that unfortunately often go unmet when these families bring their child or children home.  As I read each of the expectations, I realized how many sounded familiar.  These are things I've heard spoken or seen written on blogs countless times.


Here is the list of unmet expectations that the book starts off with (the book offers a long explanation and example under each point that further expounds- I'm just listing the main points).


Ten Expectations About Adoption


1.) Our Love will be enough.


2.) We will feel love and connection to this child quickly.


3.) This child will step into our family system and easily learn how to function within our rules, goals and ambitions.


4.)  This child's needs will be just like those of our biological children.


5.) Our biological children will embrace this new child as a sibling.


6.) Our child will fit well into our extended family and be welcomed by them.


7.) Our friends and acquaintances will validate our role as parent in our child's life and support us through the adoption process and beyond.


8.) Our child will see us as his family and forget about his birth family and his past.


9.) We can do for this child what was not done for us, or we will not do this child what was done to us.


10.) We will never feel any regrets or ambivalence in adopting this child with a traumatic past.


Now if you are an adoptive parent, I am guessing that perhaps a few of these expectations resonate with you.  Perhaps you are thinking, 'wow- I really did think that, and now I realize why I'm so frustrated, as what I expected has not come to pass!'  Perhaps you are struggling with resentment right now and feel guilty, perhaps you are dealing with the tension between your biological children and your adopted child, perhaps you are feeling guilty because you have wondered if you ever should have adopted!


I write this all to tell you that you are not alone (and your feelings are normal)!!  Clearly these expectations are ideals, and they come out motivation to have a happy and whole child in your family.  The reality is that bringing healing to a wounded child takes a lot of prayer, time and it takes resources.


Wounded Children Healing Homes is a great resource.  It is full of stories to encourage and stories to challenge, and full of strategy to help your home become a place of healing.  So if you read one book on adoptive parenting this year, I'd go over to amazon and order this one-- I don't think you'll regret it.  If you do read it-- pop back over and tell me what you think and any insights you gain into parenting your children.  I'd love to hear what wisdom you glean.


Happy reading...

Where is home?

 I had to say the yet again dreaded 'goodbyes' to my family this past weekend. You'd think after 7 years of going back and forth over the ocean it would get easier to say goodbye. It really hasn't!  I think having a 3 year-old nephew and an almost 5 month old niece has something to do with it.  Saying goodbye to my other family and friends is hard in its own right- but they will look the same in 6 months to a year's time (perhaps a few more wrinkles!)-- It is the little ones that change so much!  I realize how quickly time is passing each time I make a visit 'home' and see how much they've grown and which developmental stage they've reached.   

And yet when I'm at 'home' with my family my heart aches for my other home as well. I think of the ministries I am a part of, the families that God has had me meet, the children I've seen adopted and then I think about how I want to hurry back and settle into my 'normal.'  I always laugh because it seems as if I use the word 'home' for wherever I am currently NOT located.  If I'm here in Kiev and talk about home I usually mean Washington. And when I'm in Washington and I talk about my home I mean the one in Kiev.  It is an odd phenomenon to describe.

In some ways I think living in this tension is healthy. In reality it challenges me to be reminded of the fact that neither location is truly my home.  Neither is the place that will bring me true contentment or fulfillment.  I have this tendency to think that wherever I am not is better--- you know, the famous, 'the grass is always greener on the other side.'  Each year I learn more clearly that it is not. 

Problems exist both here and there.  

Pain exists both here and there.

Heart ache exists both here and there.

Joy exists both here and there. 

Jesus is at work both here and there.

Greener grass is really only an illusion.

I was thinking about the part in 2 Corinthians where Paul talks about longing for heaven.

 "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." (2 Corinthians 5:1-5)

Yep, I'm longing for heaven- and I'm so thankful for that deposit of the Holy Spirit to remind me of that truth.  I'm trying to keep that in perspective this week as my heart is aching just a teensy bit more for home. It reminds me of the famous C.S Lewis quote: "If our deepest desires cannot be satisfied in this world, then we must have been made for another world."  That statement has always made so much sense to me!

So that is what I'm thinking about this week as I settle back into 'normal' in this home :)

AND since she is so darn cute- I will finish this post with my final little photo shoot I did with my niece Savannah last week! I am a little biased- but I do think she is the cutest baby ever.

I think she's about the sweetest thing I've ever seen!

Where I've been...

No- I've not been blogging much lately....I've been in hiding--and am often found to be in hiding with this little gem- my niece Savannah. I have had a lovely Christmas/New Year's in the US with family and friends.   I'll be back to blogging when I return to Kiev next week-- for now I prefer the spot on the floor next to this little gal...she somehow manages to be the continual subject of my photography!

yep-- a pretty sweet place to be!

Be back soon!

A little bit of Christmas

It has been a very FULL last week of life!  A whirl wind of activity with work in Kiev and traveling to Kherson to visit our kiddos then I quickly packed up and flew home to celebrate Christmas with my family in Seattle.  Hard to believe 2011 is drawing to a close. But what a GREAT year it has been!

I wanted to share a bit about our time in Kherson with the kids-- where we brought loads of 'all things Christmas' to 2 different orphanages and the transition home that Agape (a partner ministry) runs in Kherson. It was a bit of a ministry blitz to say the least as we didn't get nearly enough time in each location-- but it was the nature of the time we had and so we had to work with it.

Most of the kids we met with had been a part of our 2011 summer camps, so the trip allowed us to not only celebrate Christmas with the youth but also reconnect with all the kids we had built relationships with this summer.

Our celebrations also included bringing Christmas trees to the orphanages, decorations, Christmas crafts and to wrap up our visit, time decorating cookies!  It was a sweet and very sticky time indeed-- Though perhaps not very clean! (what was I thinking to have over 100 kids use sprinkles and frosting?)

The kids were thrilled when our team arrived, huddling around us as we passed out the pictures we had printed from our time together at camp.  Now bundled up in their winter gear, our recent summer fun running around in the sweltering heat suddenly felt like a distant past. But at we reminisced about our time at camp and flipped through the photos together, the memories quickly came back as we asked the kids their favorite summer highlights....and believe me-- they had many!

The kids seemed excited about their gifts (but really-who doesn't like to unwrap a present AND get chocolate!?). We are praying the Bibles we gave out will be read and absorbed.  If you think of it- be praying for these sweet faces and that the words of LIFE will breath life into their precious hearts as they read the story of Jesus.

I was quite taken away with these sweet girls...

One teen,  Sasha shared how he had given his heart to Jesus at the camp this summer and was doing his best to live for God and tell other kids about his new life with Jesus.  The joy as he spoke was undeniable.  Hearing this was definitely one of the highlights of my weekend!  It is encouraging to know that the seeds we planted this summer have not died out but are truly growing.

I also got to reconnect with two of my 'favorites' (i know that isn't supposed to be allowed!) at the Kolinenska orphanage. Natasha and Tanya regularly call me throughout the week- so that has given us a special relationship. I adore these girls so much and am sad I live so far from them--as they need much encouragement and support. I brought them a bunch of good books, so I'm hoping that will keep them occupied for awhile and their minds active.  As always it was sad to say goodbye..

So that's the Ukrainian Christmas report! (Though the 'real' Christmas celebrations in Ukraine take place on January 7th- when the Orthodox calendar recognizes Christmas).  And you thought Christmas was over?  Think again!

Santa's Little Helpers...

Tomorrow we are off to the Kherson region to bring some Christmas cheer from our Orphan's Promise team of volunteers!

We are going to be bringing Christmas celebrations to two orphanages we work with in the region and the boys house that Agape runs.  We will be bringing Christmas trees, decorations, Christmas cookies and gifts!!  We will be visiting mainly all the kids that were at our summer camps the last two summers and spending time getting all caught up.

 We are very excited about the gift we have for the kids 12 and under- The Jesus Story Book Bible!  This is a children's Bible that was published by Zondervan in the US, and a Christian publisher in Ukraine, In Lumine, has now made it available in Russian.  What's even better is if you are giving it away to orphans, you can get the Bibles for just $5! This is a steal of a deal.  If you get a chance to check out this Bible in English you should-- it has beautiful illustrations and the story telling is brilliant as it weaves the promise of Jesus, the Lamb of God into the pages of the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation!  We hope the kids like it as much as we do!

And in addition to gifts-- we are bringing cookies and cookie decorating supplies (thanks to some awesome donations we got from Ukraine Orphan Outreach).  So since we are bringing cookies- that means I spent all of today baking up a TON of sugar cookies!  Thankfully I had some helpers.  My friend Kelly came over to lend me hand, plus Rhya and Natalie who are staying with me right now (with their parents who are adopting) jumped in to roll out some dough.  We were a good team and I think I have well over 100 little snowmen and gingerbread men packed up and ready to go!

We'll be in Kherson till Monday- so please keep our team in your prayers and for the kids we will be spending time with!  I'm eager to see many of 'my girls' who keep my cell phone ringing most of the week!

Christmas In Flight

Life has been rather full lately-- Hence the lack of blogging this month!

I just finished producing a Christmas play at my church- International Christian Assembly in Kiev (an English speaking- international church).  And this time I decided to not only direct but ACT as well! I had to dust myself off a bit- as it had been awhile since my college days! For those of you that follow along and didn't know- I studied Theatre at Seattle Pacific University- and really saw my life on the stage....until God brought me to Ukraine!

So it is really a gift when I get to pull out my old theatrical skills and put them to use. I had the honor of using the script that a friend (also an SPU grad) had written. It was fun because the show took place in the 'Seattle Airport' and was about a couple 'running away' from their family at Christmas, hence the title- Christmas In Flight.  It was a delightful show that presented a heart-warming message of forgiveness and second chances and reminded us of the God who never stops pursuing us! It was a privilege to get to produce my friend's show and see it touch the hearts of many. We did it as a dessert theatre in the round-- and we performed 4 times to sold-out crowds!

I got pretty sick after the show, so I've been spending this week trying to recover...and counting the days till I board my own flight bound for Seattle (8 more days!)

Fall Фoto Fun!

I've been trying to work on my photography skills as of late, and providing free family session is a great way to get experience!  My friend Tara asked if I'd do some photos of her 3 sweet kiddos this fall so we had a fun afternoon making them smile.  I shot manually-- something my friend Karen  (a real professional!) is inspiring me towards.  I still haven't perfected any real technique but I think we got a few keepers and one even made the Christmas card for this family this year (can you guess which one??)- so I'd say that is a pretty good start!

It wasn't too bad either that my friend payed me in the form of peanut butter and cake mixes! Those are hard to come by over here!

Time in the Far East

Well I was corrected! Apparently we were further into Russia than Siberia- in what is deemed the 'Russian Far-East.' And after flying for 10 hours east- I agree-- it is pretty far!!  Apparently saying 'Siberia' is the same faux-pa as putting a 'the' in front of Ukraine.  I stand corrected.

Our time in the far east city of Khabarovsk went great. I traveled with two of my colleagues and ministry partners, Mina and Galina and we trained a group of about 20-25 people who desire to teach life skills to older orphans in this region.  There are little to no resources for working with orphans here, so they were glad to have our curriculum brought over and some basic training to go with it!  We did a 4 day training with about 6 hours of teaching each day.

I was amazed to learn of the great need in this region.  To say they have a lot of orphans would be an understatement.  This region of Russia makes Ukraine look like they have their act together.  While  Ukraine is transitioning to foster care and more orphanages continue to be merged or shut down, Khabarovsk suffers from over crowded institutions with over 150 kids in each of the  66 orphanages in this region!  I was shocked.  The statistics surrounding the trade schools where the kids go when they graduate are not any better.  Over 30% of the kids are dead within 3 years of graduating.  Sobering statistics.

The people we trained were so grateful that we came, and made us feel like saints for traveling so far.  But to tell you the truth- they were really my heroes. They are a small group of believers who have been challenged to reach the orphans in their community and are seeking out all the resources they can to be effective-- and they are the minority.

One man who attended the training was a former orphan himself. He stood up after one of our teachings and with tears in his eyes began to speak-- 'this information is so needed' he said, 'It's true what you are saying.  I look today for the kids I grew up with and I can't find any of them.  They are either in prison, dead, or alcoholics. The future is empty without God.  I would be lost like them without Him.'  


I am always amazed at the testimonies of former orphans like this man Yuriy, and hearing how God saved them.  Yuriy now has a 19-year-old boy under his wing that he is trying to help rehabilitate- a boy he picked up off the street-- destined for a life like that of his friends. But Yuriy is determined to help give this boy a different future.  This boy recently gave his life to the Lord and is trying to turn it around--but it isn't easy.

most of the people we trained- on the last day!

It was a privilege to have this opportunity to travel east and equip more of the saints to reach these kids...the many many kids.  It was very humbling.  I now see through even different eyes the work that God has done in Ukraine and how far we have come and how now Ukraine is paving the way for Russia.  My friend Galina keeps telling me I can't leave Ukraine until all the kids have homes-- but now I am reminded that the work is far greater than just Ukraine. Don't know if I'm ready to be sent to the far-east permanently-- but if you are praying about a mission field-- then I'd add that to your list!  The need is overwhelming.

Our time in Khabarovsk was pretty much spent at the church teaching. But what little we did see of the city is below...

I felt right at home in Khabarovsk when I saw a sign with my name!
The caption says 'clothing from Great Britain'--(yes please!) :)

My fearless travel companions and friends- Mina and Galina

Cathedral in center of Khabarovsk- a winter wonder-land