Trust

Trust. This is my word of the moment. The word I keep having to remind myself of. Trusting the Lord and where He is leading...even when I don't fully understand.
A year ago I was on a silent retreat with people from church and the Lord impressed upon my heart Psalm 37 over that weekend and it brought me much encouragement for where I was at. Well it seems to be that exactly a year later that Psalm is bringing truth to me again and God is taking me to a new place of letting go and trusting Him- inspite of all my doubts and fears.

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; TRUST in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...(Psalm 37:3-7)

About a week and a half ago I had to make a decision that involved a lot of trust. Trust in the Lord and where He is leading, Trust in the Holy Spirit's guidance, and trusting a lack of peace that I have had inside for quite some time. I ended my 6 month relationship with my dear Max. It's weird to even be writing about this in a public forum sort of way, but at the same time it is where I'm at right now, and I guess it is good to be able to let people in- even as I process all my random thoughts. Letting go of someone you deeply care about and have spent so much time with is a very hard process...even when you sense it is where the Lord is leading. I have to say that in the moments after our difficult conversation I wanted to take my words back and hold on to the familiar-- afraid of the unknown future and of being alone again. But then there was that word again...TRUST. It was a word that kept coming up even in the days leading up to my conversation with Max. Friends encouraging me that I have to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust that He has the bigger picture in his hands. In those moments of doubt that is all I can cling to-- trusting Jesus..trusting that He will continue to guide my feet...and Max's too...and that my doubting and worrying will do no good. Instead I just have to let go...and TRUST Him. And really, it's not only a daily decision, but a moment by moment decision.
I don't know where you are at in this season of your life and if you are found in the midst of a mountain peak or a darker valley...but I pray you too can hear the whisper of his voice, however quiet it may be...saying "Trust me."
May we encourage one another when our vision becomes blurred.