Letting go of the plan

So I’m a little behind in blogging about the end of the summer and our final camp in August! I’ve been wanting to post pictures and say something—I guess I’ve just not known what exactly to write about!

All I can say is that generally I am a pretty planned out person…and this camp did not go as I planned.  Living in Ukraine I’ve gotten used to things not going as I plan…and each time we do a camp it is another reminder that the ‘type A’ in me has to die more and more and I need to learn to let Jesus guide and sometimes even change my “plans.” Because he always does!

This camp was unique in that we had 50 orphanage graduates.  This was a first for our team.  This means that these were youth that have already aged out of the “system” and are now studying in local trade and technical schools.  We had planned for about 75 youth- so I was a little disappointed that the numbers were down—especially since we had 24 leaders serving! This is one of the things that didn’t go according to my plan! :)  But you know what, it was so awesome to see how the Lord used the fact that we had an abundance of volunteers.   In fact, very quickly we came to feel that we did not have an abundance…as each of us was stretched to our max!  50 youth between the ages of 17-21 is a LOT of relational energy and it became very clear that we had all the extra help for a reason—these “kids” were SO hungry for relationships and for listening ears.

We had the privilege to give each person attending the camp their very own Bible.  For some of these youth it was their first time holding a Bible in their hands! And they were FULL of questions- which was awesome.

The theme of the camp was “Am I the Center of the Universe?” We focused on asking the bigger questions in life- “What am I here for?” - “Is there evidence that points to God?”  “If there is a God, what is his purpose for my life?”—These are the questions we started with and throughout the week we discussed various attributes of God’s character and shared with them about reconciliation to God through Jesus.  This of course is the very brief summary of a 10-day program! :)  By the end of the camp about 90% of the kids make decisions to accept Christ!!! It was TRULY AMAZING.    On the first day, the kids barely moved their mouths when we would sing worship songs in the evening. But by the last night, there was truly a SPIRIT of WORSHIP in the room as these youth sang to the Lord. I had to just stop and watch them- it was truly humbling and inspiring to see how the Lord was moving in the hearts of these young people.

To tell you the truth—I can’t even remember now what half of the things were that didn’t go according to how I had planned that week. Obviously they weren’t that important! :)

These youth come from very dark and broken pasts and have lived through things that most of us wouldn’t even want to imagine. So please pray for them. Pray for those that accepted Christ this summer and pray that the seeds that were planted will continue to take root in their lives. They have already gone back to their “normal” lives in the dormitories and the temptation to fall back into old patterns is so real. Pray for strength, pray for boldness, pray for a passion for Jesus to be etched in their hearts.

       

 

 

 

 

Humanitarian Aid gone Bad

Just a friendly note telling you to be careful of what you donate to the local- well- meaning group collecting clothes for a humanitarian shipment to some country far-far away.  Read what the article of clothing says prior to donating. Then ask yourself the question- ‘Could this cause embarrassment if given to the wrong age or gender?’ If the answer is yes- do not send this item. 

Otherwise one of the following exhibits may be a reality in some foreign country, where the people wearing the said item, will have no clue that they are providing internal laughter for some English speaker who happens to see them.

Exhibit #1

Look how happy he looks? 

Exhibit #2

oh the unsuspecting boy has no idea that he is advertising himself as a male-cheerleader!

Exhibit #3

One must examine this picture closely. But this Babushka is wearing a hat that says “Limp Bizkit”—maybe she is a fan- I don’t know…but this has “Humanitarian Aid gone Bad”- written all over it! :)

My Heart Will Go On….and on and on and on…

So I have a confession to make.  When I was 16 years-old I saw the movie Titanic 6.5 times in the movie theatre.  (The other half of the confession is that the .5 time is because I snuck in to watch the second half after having watched another movie).  I don’t know why I was so obsessed with Titanic at that time- but I was. I remember sobbing each time I watched it, and even told one of my friends that I kept watching with the hopes that it was going to end differently!! But wouldn’t you know- the boat still sank and Kate still let Jack go…and I gave the movie theatre way too much of my money.

So why am I now thinking of this film, more than 10 years later?  Because the theme song has come to haunt my life in Ukraine. I’ll let you in on a secret…Ukrainians LOVE the song My Heart Will Go On and consider it a classic American ballad. I too loved the song, when I was 16, and over-played it soooo much then, that I got sick of it! So when I came to Ukraine I was shocked by how much they love this song.

Confession number two: I have performed this song  in public on more than one occasion in Ukraine.  At our office in Kiev we have birthday celebrations once a month and one time they asked me to sing “the song”, to one of those really cheesy back ground tracks.  There was part of me that was cringing inside as I sang this “ballad”- knowing that my American friends would be dying in laughter- but the other part of me secretly enjoyed it- I mean, who doesn’t want the chance to pretend to be Celine Dion for a few moments in a foreign country without your American friends ever knowing?! 

This summer at one of our summer camps, I was playing the guitar and singing with some of our girls when they all eagerly asked, - “ohhh can you sing the Titanic song?”

- “Really?” I asked, “that song, you really want me to sing that song?”

- “YES!!!! It is our favorite,” they all chant. 

-“Oh boy…” I think, “here we go again!”

So on multiple ocassions this summer I was found singing the “Titanic song” to a crowd of adoring teenage girls. The best was when they said I sounded better than Celine Dion! (Don’t worry, I won’t let my adoring teenage Ukrainian fans go to my head—I know I’m a far cry from Celine :).)

That brings me today…a girl I work with comes into my office and says, “Karen, there is a song I really want to sing and I really would like your help with the pronunciation.” 

- “Okay” I respond, “What is it?”

I really shouldn’t have even asked… 

Maybe I had this coming to me…after all I did see the movie 6.5 times in the movie theatre! So I guess this will keep going on…and on…and on.

Waiting for a Sunrise

Have you ever gotten up to wait for the sunrise?  Not just happened upon it, but actually gotten up extra early with the intention of seeing the first glimpse of the sun peak up from the horizon?

At our final camp this summer, on the last morning, we decided it would be “fun” to get everyone up at the crack of dawn (literally) and experience the beauty of the first sun break.  Well, none of us knew exactly when the sun would rise so we decided we better get up earlier than we thought- just to be sure not to miss it.

When my alarm went off at 4:45am I jolted out of my bed—and feeling the effects of having gone to bed after midnight, I questioned how badly I really wanted to witness this crack of dawn experience.  But I said I’d go- so I dressed warmly and joined the group outside.  And waited. And waited….and waited.

So apparently by the end of August the sun is not really rising at 4:45 am…and by 5:45 we were all still waiting…cold…and really ready to see the stupid sun!   Some kids actually got too cold, too tired, and they gave up. They said they didn’t want to wait any more- that they were going back to bed.    I know they didn’t doubt that the sun would actually rise- but they couldn’t stand the wait to see it- they didn’t like feeling uncomfortable and tired and decided it would be better to go back to their warm beds.                                                

But the rest of us kept waiting.  And wouldn’t you know….the sun did rise (around 6:10 to be exact). And it was beautiful.  It was breathtaking. In the hour we had spent waiting we could see signs that the sun would rise as the sky got bluer and lighter, but the sun still wasn’t visible—we knew it was coming but we couldn’t actually see it. Then suddenly it appeared and the process of it rising happened so fast that if you turned away for a few moments you would have missed it.  The kids that gave up and left early had missed it.  But those of us that had remained were able to witness the beauty- and suddenly that waiting didn’t seem all too bad.  The perspective had shifted when we witnessed what we had been waiting for.

Lately my life and walk with the Lord can feel a little like that sunrise.  Some days I’m tempted to just crawl back into bed like some of our kids did because I’m just tired of waiting- I’m tired and cold and would rather go some place more comfortable and  go to sleep.  Sure, you say that the sunrise is going to happen- but I’ll just take your word on it.  I’m too tired to care.

But something about seeing the sun at high noon isn’t quite as glorious as when it is viewed at the first break of day.  There is something marvelous in witnessing it rise- in not only seeing the realization of what you had been waiting for, but getting to take part in it. And if we don’t take part in the waiting, and in the trusting- then we might actually miss out on the blessing. We actually could miss it!  But when we wait…and when it does rise-- suddenly the waiting will have seemed like no time at all.  We will instead be captivated by the light revealed in that first glimpse we catch of the Son.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-2

those of us that made it! :)

Faces to remember

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I have a new love of photography with my new camera!  Here are a few favorites from our July camp in Nikolaev. Faces that continue to stick in my mind….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My beautiful friend Mary Lynn came to join the fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Lena to Lina

Before I left for our recent camp in Nikolaev I had a sense in my spirit that I was supposed to bring along  my Russian Bible to give to someone. At first I didn’t really want to bring this specific Bible with me, as it had belonged to my roommate Lena, and it had sentimental value.  But for some reason I knew I was supposed to bring it, as perhaps God wanted me to give it to either Nastia or Natasha—the two girls I had met the previous summer and who I knew were anticipating my return.

When I got to the camp and was reunited with Nastia and Natasha (pictured left)and started talking to them about the Bible- both girls told me they had one.  Hmmm, I thought to myself…I wonder who the Lord wants me to give this Bible too?—As I had felt it was to be someone very specific.  Now I was left to wonder who it would be…..

About 3 days into the camp I met Lina. Tall, beautiful, 18-year-old Lina.  Lina’s story is not as ‘typical’ as many of  the kids I meet in orphanages.  Her parents died when she was very little and she was raised by her Grandmother. A little over a year ago her grandmother died- leaving her and her brother wards of the state. They were soon sent to the nearest internat (orphanage) in Nikolaev to live and finish their education.

One night Lina wanted to hang out with me, so we just sat and talked as she painted my nails. I was able to ask her about her life as she asked me about mine. She asked if I would sing to her, so I sang her a few of the worship songs I know in Russian.  I could tell that she was really focusing in on the words that I was singing, so when I finished, I asked her if she believed in God. With tears in her eyes she shared that she used to pray and believe -until her Grandma died, and then everything became so confusing and she felt abandoned by God.  I then was given the opportunity to share about my faith and how Jesus is able to be my comfort, even when I feel totally alone and abandoned by others. I asked her if she had a Bible or if she had ever read it before- to which the answer to both questions was no. I asked her if she would be interested in reading the Bible, and her voice resounded with an affirmative yes!  “Well,” I said, “I have a very special Bible that I think God wanted me to bring especially for you!”   We spent the next hour or so talking and by the end of our conversation, Lina was ready to pray and accept Jesus into her life!  It was such a beautiful thing to be a part of and I felt so honored that the Lord allowed me to play a role in sharing the Gospel with sweet Lina.

The next day I presented Lina with her Bible. I told Lina that the Bible had once belonged to my friend and roommate Lena, and so this Bible was extra special for me to give her.  I told her how Lena had also grown up in an orphanage and had no earthly parents to call her own- but how Lena was able to turn to the Father in Heaven for guidance and wisdom. I shared with her how my friend Lena had been given a wonderful husband and how God has blessed her as she has looked to him and walked with him—and how I thought that God had specifically wanted the Bible that had once been Lena’s to now be hers.  With joy and excitement Lina received her Bible and was ready to start reading it! After the first quiet hour she came out to report that she had already read the first 5 pages of Matthew (where I had told her to begin).

My hope is that Lina can come and visit me in Kiev during her fall break and we can continue to talk about what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Please keep this sweet young woman in your prayers- praying that she would come to know and love Jesus with her whole heart and trust him with her whole life.

“For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.  I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”  Ephesians 1: 15-17

Thoughts on Hope

“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world.  There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.  The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy….there was something we grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in reality….something has evaded us.”              ~C.S. Lewis,  Mere Christianity

I recently started reading through Mere Christianity again. I marked it up in college and now find myself pouring over my old notes. I’m reminded of the wisdom Lewis has to give on a variety of topics- including where we find our hope.

The above passage has always resonated with me. How many of us have longed for something…really longed for something…and then when we get it, it’s not quite what we thought we wanted?  You could call this materialism or consumerism – something society has developed in us. Or could it be part of our design?  Simply put, nothing on this earth will ever quite satisfy- because we were created for something more.

Hope is an interesting concept. Some say it is a crutch that Christians cling to— to get through life in order to reach an afterlife.  But hope is more than a future concept- or at least it should be. It should be a daily reality.  A living hope.  If that hope was our reality I think our daily lives would look a little different…that more of Jesus would shine through us.

“It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.  Aim at Heaven and you will get earth ‘thrown in’: aim at earth and you will get neither.” 

Where is your aim?  Are most of your days aimed at heaven or aimed at earth? I know mine aren’t always heaven focused.  Like Lewis mentions, I think we  become ineffective when we lose sight of what’s to come – when we forget to think about Heaven and get so caught up in the trials of today—our current realities. 

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power.  Let heaven fill your thoughts.  Do not think only about things down here on earth.  For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.”                  Colossians 3:1-4 (NLT)

It’s a beautiful thing to think about- our real lives being hidden with Christ!  This hope keeps me pressing on- and reminds me that when earth’s joys fail to bring the full satisfaction that they promised, I should take that as my reminder that I was created for something more.

Return to Russia- part 2: St. Petersburg

The retracing of my steps continued up north to St. Pete- where I got to enjoy 3 evenings of 11:30 pm sunsets! Talk about spectacular!!  I spent the month of August in ‘03 living in St. Pete with my team from SPU and serving with the ministry Sunergos- which had then just been started by a young SPU grad, Tanya.  During our time with Tanya we served in 2 orphanages and studied the culture and history in which we were living.  Tanya and I have kept in touch since that time, so it was a privilege to get to return to St. Pete and see her still working in the same awesome ministry to orphans and now happily married and the mama to a beautiful baby girl!

Tanya and her husband Misha facilitate a variety of different ministries with orphanages and transitional centers in St. Pete and host summer ministry teams wanting to serve orphans, widows and the poor.  It felt very ‘full circle’ being back in the very same apartment where my team stayed 6 years ago, this time sitting around the table with Tanya’s family and speaking about our ministries and goals—in Russian no less!  Something I never anticipated for my future when I was there that first time!   Funny what time will do.

Since I’d seen pretty much all the major sites of Petersburg before, there wasn’t as great a need to be a “tourist” on this trip- but Tanya and I did have the opportunity to stroll the beautiful streets and canals as we caught up on one another’s lives. And a beautiful city it is! St. Pete is known as being the “Venice of the North” with the way it was designed around a canal system. Though I can’t say it compares to Venice on many other levels- it does have it’s own unique Russian charm!  We also did the brief blitz through the Hermitage and just so happened to be there on the first Thursday of the month—which is free- go figure! It makes you feel better about quickly running through a museum when you know you didn’t pay anything to be there!

Like I mentioned in my post about Moscow- it was really just a gift to be back in the places where God first placed on my heart a burden for the fatherless.  I don’t think we always take the time to really sit down and reflect on the roads which we have traveled between different seasons of our lives- but suddenly when we are given the opportunity to retrace our steps and see things in a new light, we’re given new perspective and also just an appreciation for the past. 

Perhaps I can go back in another 6 years!  :)

St. Isaac's Cathedral

Church of our Savior on the Spilled Blood

Return to Russia- part 1: Moscow

I first visited Russia in the summer of 2003 for 6 weeks with the summer missions program at Seattle Pacific University.  It is so hard to believe that a full 6 years have passed since my first exposure to this part of the world.  I’ve been meaning to get back to Russia for some time -to see it with new eyes.  My trip in 2003 was my first cross Atlantic adventure and I was overwhelmed by all the things I saw, heard (and didn’t understand) and smelled for the first time!  Little did I know that trip would be the first chapter of  the life I would begin a little over a year later.  Looking back, that first trip seems like ages ago. If anything this opportunity getting to go back was a gift from God- a gift to be able to reflect on all that has happened in the last 6 years- the places I’ve been, the people  I’ve met, the fact that I can now speak and comprehend the Russian language!  I stand back amazed at how the Lord has been at work in my life the past 6 years- and for some reason going back to Russia seemed to bring that all to the forefront of my mind. It reminded me of his faithfulness- of the immense blessings he has poured out in my life!

My dear friend and former roommate Lena, is now living with her husband in Moscow- so thus the impetus of the trip!  It was wonderful getting to stroll the crazy streets of this larger than life city with Lena and Denis and see also how my sweet friend is so much in love and enjoying married life.  When I was in Moscow in ‘03, Red Square had been blocked off because of terrorist threats- so I made sure to have several moments of glory standing in the center of it on this trip! 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was also fun to introduce Lena and Denis to Starbucks!! No, it hasn’t made it to Kiev- but Starbucks opened a little over a year ago in Moscow. Lena had seen all my coffee cups in our apartment when we lived together- so was excited to have her first Starbucks experience with a girl from Seattle!  On average all the drinks were about $2 more than you’d pay in the US—but oh well- we all thoroughly enjoyed our over priced Frappachinos! :)

It was a sweet time with sweet friends…from Moscow it was up to St. Petersburg to do some more reconnecting!

Village Life…

The 10 day camp that we recently had was in Kolinenska, Ukraine—an isolated village of about 1,500 people.  After living in a city of about 5 million it was just a slight change of pace!!   There were 15 people on our team and for the duration of the camp we stayed in the home of 2 local Ukrainian missionary girls- in their 3 room house!  Yes, 15 people in a 3 room house.  Did I mention that there was no running water either?  :)

We got to experience the village joys of getting water from the well!  What amazed me was that I actually got used to it.  I gained a ton of respect for these two young women who work and serve in this village and I’m humbled by the amount of effort that goes into just living day to day life.  Whether getting their own water from a well, getting milk from the neighbor’s cow, or having to wait for the water to heat up before you can take a bucket shower—I was truly humbled by their day to day life and all that they’ve given up to serve the kids in the 2 orphanages there. 

I do have to say the peacefulness was refreshing. After all, everyone loves to see ducks, cows, goats and geese while out on their morning walk!