Celebrating an Adoption Anniversary!

I had my first invitation to 'blog' for someone else this week! My friends Jason and Holly Bollinger adopted 2 precious Ukrainian girls last year, and this week marks their year anniversary of going home with the girls.  Because I played a role in their Ukrainian adoption adventure, they asked if I would contribute to a series of posts celebrating their girls' 1 year anniversary home.  It was a privilege to be asked to share their story from my perspective.

The Bollingers continue to inspire me as they share their adoption story and as spur others on in walking out a relationship with Jesus and reminding us that we always have more love to give.

Happy One Year Anniversary Olivia and Natalia! You are two very blessed little girls!

Click here to visit the Bollinger's blog and to see my 'guest' post! :)

Gold in Kiev

Lest you be deceived, these products can not be found in Kiev.  But they currently reside in my kitchen.  Thanks to a lovely care package from the US from a friend and another friend's commissary perks (oh to have that!), my pantry and freezer are feeling the love.  I am going to be fooling all my house guests into thinking there is a Starbucks around the corner!

I feel a bit spoiled.

I love it.

Celebrating 30!

So I turned the big gulp 3-0 just 2 weeks ago!  I decided that I needed to CELEBRATE leaving my 20's behind and entering into this new decade.  So celebrate is just what I did!!  You don't turn 30 every day (thank goodness) so I decided a themed birthday party was in order! My awesome friends here helped throw me one classy 'Red & Black & White' bday bash, complete with a chocolate buffet! Because what 30-year-old girl doesn't love to celebrate with chocolate!? :)

If you had told me at 23 when I arrived in Ukraine that I'd be celebrating my 30th birthday here, I might have had a hard time accepting that (especially if you told me I'd still be single!)-- but I look at the beauty that God has added to my life in my years here and I feel oh so blessed.  It's not what I would have imagined....it's better.  This life is a journey isn't it?  Each year learning more about myself, more about the Lord and more about how I need to trust him with every detail-- and celebrate what he is doing!!

Here is to the celebration....

Proud to be 30...and excited to serve God with the next 30 years!!

Goodbye to a dear friend....

One thing I've gotten pretty good at over the years is saying 'goodbye.'  Even though I perhaps have gotten good at saying the words, I can't say that goodbyes are ever easy! But it seems to be a big part of living internationally...the ever changing community.

This week we said goodbye to our dear friend Yulia who has served faithfully on my team for the past 5 years!  2 weeks ago Yulia married a great Christian guy from Lebanon and is now beginning her new life with him there.....wow!!

We had quite the wedding celebration on September 17th which was a real blend of cultures.  A Ukrainian girl marrying a Lebanese guy, an Australian pastor, and an American event coordinator!  It made for a real international event and a lovely celebration.



Galina, Yulia and I have all worked together on the Gift of Adoption project (a project of Orphan's Promise) for the past 5 years.  Yulia has been a valuable part of our team and has quite the soft spot in her heart for the kids here.  She has taken nearly 30 kids to the US on hosting trips and as a result has developed meaningful relationships with countless children and has advocated for many to find families.  I have always been amazed at how she would invest in the lives of these kids, with regular phone calls and visits, and occasionally taking a child home for the weekend to get a break from the orphanage.  Yulia has been a fighter for the fatherless.

When I think of my years spent ministering with Yulia so many memories come to mind.  Numerous orphanage visits, our summers spent traipsing around Ukraine to various summer camps, organizing fancy conferences, talking on radio programs, drinking hundreds of cups of tea in our office (that could be an understatement) and simply sharing our lives together.  It is a gift to work along side dear friends who share a common passion and vision. Work no longer seems like work, instead we have been sisters in Christ, fighting in the same battle and coming before the Lord on behalf of his children!















You will be missed my dear sister!  But we know the Lord has exciting things before you as you enter this new season of life! I know you will go on to love whatever children God puts in front of you!  Thank you for the service you gave to us and for your friendship....

Yulia & Khalil on their wedding day.

The Face of Tanya

With every orphanage that we go to and return to visit time and time again, I always seem to see that God puts one or two specific girls on my heart.  I think it’s all I can really handle.  When I look at the masses it is hard to connect. It is easy to just see them as a group of orphans and their needs can seem overwhelming. It seems easier not to get involved. 

But then God manages to take one face and have it stand out amidst the masses.  One story becomes a bit more personal.  One individual suddenly has entered your life and suddenly what you are doing seems to matter more.

At the Kalinenska orphanage that face is Tanya.  For three years now we have been visiting Kalinenska and putting on summer camps and then returning in the fall for fellowship.  For three years now Tanya's smile has greeted me each time I have crossed through those dreaded orphanage gates.  Tanya has an unspeakable joy that exudes out of her.  She has a laugh that is contagious.  She has eyes that speak life. Tanya knows Jesus, and it is evident.  Her larger than life smile and radiant joy are a stark contrast to the life she has lived.

She fantasizes about what home would be like if her mother didn't drink and wouldn't beat her and her younger brother.  The brother she has practically raised herself. A brother who carries visible signs of physical abuse he must have endured.  She knows home isn't a safe place, and yet she still dreams it would be better there- that perhaps her mother could know God, that things could change.

It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how wretched home life was for these kids, it still remains 'home.'   It remains the place where so many dream to return.  It might have not been good, but it was their normal.   Mama was mama, no matter what she did.   It isn't this way for all kids, but I have heard this story repeated too many times over the years.... wanting to return, despite the circumstances.

For at least 6 years Tanya and her younger brother have been in an orphanage, and it was at this orphanage in Kalinenska that she came to know Jesus.  Because our friends Anya and Boguslava regularly visited the kids and taught them about the Bible and Jesus, Tanya began to understand what it means to have a relationship with her Heavenly Father- a daddy she can trust.  She loves to read her Bible and could recite me long parables from memory.

Life for Tanya is not easy. She told me about how hard it is being one of the only 'serious' Christians in the orphanage.  She went on to say how much our time with her during the camp encouraged her faith and allowed her to trust Jesus more and want to grow.  She said it was nice to have people to talk through things with and get advice from-- to see people with a passion for God.

I told Tanya that she was my encouragement; she was my hero.  I told her that her faith was teaching me about true joy.  It is easy to smile when life seems easy, but to wake up in a village orphanage each day and to choose joy is a real testimony to Jesus living in her. 

I don't always wake up and choose joy. In fact there have been many days lately when I've had to give myself a real attitude adjustment.  So I try to remember Tanya, to pray for Tanya, and remind myself like the apostle Paul did, that joy is an overflow of what is inside.   There is a reason that Paul was able to say  "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11).    He was drawing his water supply from a living source, he was full of a joy that only Jesus can give.

Where is your joy coming from these days?  Is it harder to muster up because of your circumstances?

Go back to the source.  Pursue the giver of indescribable JOY. Perhaps your face may shine a little brighter.... a little like the face of Tanya.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Romans 15:13

The Gate

For the third summer in a row, we walked through these gates 3 times a day.  Behind these gates live the 65 children in Kalinenska Orphanage #2.  These gates have become symbolic to me over the years, because I hate these gates and everything they stand for.  I hate that a prison exists behind these gates and that the captives don't even understand that they are prisoners.

Children living at this orphanage have all been diagnosed with a mental delay. A diagnosis that was most likely given when they were going through a traumatic family disruption or loss.  Once this label is given it sticks.  There is no reassessment, instead the label will determine their future.  Because of their diagnosis the kids at this institution receive a sub-par education and do not complete normal high-school, which makes them unable to qualify for higher education beyond the normal trade school.

What kills me is that so many of these kids are smart, or could do very well with some assistance.  Instead they've come to accept their diagnosis and believe that they are incapable of ever achieving.  During a simple English lesson, girl after girl in my class would give up, saying that 'it's not possible' or 'I can't do this.'  

They've been conditioned to believe that this orphanage is the best place for them.  It was eery how many times I heard kids say, 'I like it here, it's good for me here, it would be too hard if I was somewhere else.'  They literally said it the same way, as if it was auto pilot, as if they were taught to say the same phrase.  Lie after lie after lie, that they have come to believe as truth.

I had a talk one afternoon with Marina, one of the older girls, who will be in the 9th grade for the second time this year- a bright girl who has lived in the orphanage her entire life with a label- one that she believes at her core. I tried to tell her about the power of belief systems, and that when we believe something long enough it becomes true-- and that is what the enemy wants-- he is the Father of lies.  I tried to give her encouragement and tell her that what she thinks about herself matters.  I don't know how deep it went in, but as I write this I am reminded again to pray for Marina and that the lies would be replaced with truth.

There is a spiritual heaviness that exists in this village- one that is difficult to put into words.  A village of less than 2,000 residents and yet 2 orphanages are located here.  Not 1 but 2!  2 prisons which hold these faces, faces which continue to haunt me.  This summer I learned that the land of this village used to be a thriving economic center of the region pre-WWII.  It also contained a large Jewish community.  During the war the Russians came in and all the Jews were murdered.  The villagers claim that their land is cursed.  I have to agree.  As I walked the streets of the village in the morning I prayed that there would be an out pouring of the Holy Spirit on these people and that they would turn to God in repentance and for the healing of their land.  

One morning in my time with the Lord, I was brought to Psalm 107. It was one of the moments where I felt like God was speaking directly over this village and each word on the page became alive.  It has become my prayer for the people there and for the children trapped in the orphanage prisons.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom

and broke away their chains.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love

And his wonderful deeds for Men,

For he breaks down the gates of bronze and cuts through the bars of iron.

......

He sent forth his word and healed them, he rescued them from the grave.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love...

(Psalm 107:13-21)

Let it be so....

Baby Savannah

I have much on my mind as a result of our camp in the village last week- and I will make some space here to process that soon....but in the mean time I need to brag on my baby niece who decided to make her appearance into the world 3 weeks early (of course while I was away from all forms of communication in a village and had no idea-- I came home to the exciting news!)

This is the first baby girl in our family so it was very exciting to anticipate her arrival.  While I was home  I got to attend 3 baby showers for my sis-in-law-- one of which my mom and I threw together. And since this baby has to know where her Auntie spends most of her time-- I decided that the theme should be no other than Matryoshka dolls! Yep-- it was a down right matryoshka doll fest--complete with a take a way doll for everyone! It was a lovely afternoon of celebrating my beautiful sis-in-love, Heather :)

 I was also able to take some maternity shots for them to capture their last few weeks as a family of three and their anticipation of meeting baby girl.  I'm trying to work on my photography skills lately- so they were willing to be my subjects!

And here is how she looks on the outside....when she made her appearance on August 24th! Welcome to the world Savannah Noelle...you are already so loved!  It's moments like these that make it hard being so far away from home...

Savannah and Nana 

the proud Auntie,

On the road again...

There isn't much rest around here!  We made it safely back to Ukraine and the kids arrived back to their orphanage and then after a couple days rest, were headed out to a camp on the sea where they will finish up their summer.

I too am off for our final camp of the summer!  I leave in the morning for the Kalinensko orphanage in the Kherson region.  This will be my 3rd summer with this group of children, so I'm excited to see them all again and reconnect with the girls who I began relationships with last year.   I have to say I'm still a bit exhausted from the trip to the US- so please pray I have the energy needed to pour more into these sweet kids.

2010 camp in Kalinensko

We've already had a lot of changes with our team who will be serving at this camp- so please keep us in your prayers as we sort through the various responsibilities of who will be doing what and ultimately that we will be effective in our ministry with the kids.  Also pray for unity and understanding among us- as there will be 15 of us living in a two room house! If that doesn't say community living....I don't know what does! :)

I will look forward to sharing more when I return at the end of the month!

Hard to believe that this is the summer wrap up. Amazing how time always seems to go by so fast...

Goodbyes & Thank You's

It is so so so hard to believe that this hosting trip is coming to an end and we fly back to Ukraine tomorrow! (Still dreading the goodbyes at the airport tomorrow morning!)  It has been a very full, very blessed 3 weeks with the kids in my home state of Washington!  The sun may have not shown its face much while we were here-- but our kids were smiling.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who gave of their time and energy and finances to make this trip possible! It really was the fulfillment of a big dream of mine and a LOT of prayer. Above all thank you to the host families who received these kids with open hearts and open arms-- you have given these kids one unforgettable summer.

Please keep us in your prayers as we fly back to Kiev-- let's pray it is a little less dramatic than our entry in to the USA!!

For those of you who gave to make this trip possible-- see the smiling faces of gratitude below...

As they said above...THANK YOU!

** For those that have inquired about availability of these kids- please email me directly.  It looks like several of these kids may be adopted into families as a result of this hosting program, but I will not post details about that at this time.

Mountain Tops & Meltdowns

We have been wrapping up our activities here in Washington with a very full calendar! Last week we had a game night/gospel presentation at our church, a hike through the mountains and a BBQ in the park!  It is hard to believe that our time here is winding down and we will be saying our 'dasvidanyas' on Thursday!   Tonight will be our farewell dinner along with making photo/memory albums.

Last Friday our families and kids met at Tiger Mountain, a great day excursion here in the Pacific Northwest. After a walk about through the woods on a fairly easy trail, we all settled down for our picnic lunches.  It is always fun to see the kids switching snacks and comparing family meals!  After lunch most of the families decided it was time to head home, but a few of us 'braver souls' decided we would take a more challenging treck up one of the trails that actually had an incline!  So our little group of about 10 set out bound for the trail.  Well, we started to anyway.

About 2 minutes into our hiking adventure, one of our 'angel girls' (as I will refer to her in this post) started to bemoan her aching legs, saying she couldn't walk any farther.  I knew she was tired, but I also knew she had more energy in her than she thought, and this little miss is a queen of whining. No ifs ands or buts about it...we had to keep up with the group.  I march along ahead and then look back to find angel girl lying on the dirt, refusing to go any farther.  It looked like a classic toddler meltdown...and she is going on 12!

A determination rose up within me.  She was not going to win this one...we were going up the mountain!

The group went on up ahead and I said I'd deal with angel girl. By this point she had dusted the dirt off of her and was heading back down the hill in the wrong direction.  I grabbed her, picked her up and started carrying her up the hill (I was determined).  Telling her that she had to keep going - trying to distract her and encouraging her that she could do this.  We were a team and she couldn't give up.

It didn't work.

I tried distraction, and humor, everything. Her 'net' only grew louder.  This little girl was getting angrier and more upset by the moment as she stiffened her body, starting throwing off items of clothing and running down the hill to where we had begun.  Screaming insults and hurtful words all the way down.

It is difficult to describe the hardness I have witnessed in this little girl. Beyond this temper tantrum of control and determination to get her way, is a girl with very deep wounds.  By the time she had reached her landing point at the bottom of the hill she had thrown off her sneakers and was seated on a bench with mixes of cries and screams. I tried to speak truth to her and love to her, but with her hands she would shut my mouth.  Tears now began to flow from my eyes as I tried to communicate love and try to get to the heart of what was going on. 

It didn't work.

The afternoon ended with the host mom coming back to the car and angel girl crawling in the trunk of the van, still angrier than all get out-- but she had won the battle she wanted-- she was in the car and not on the mountain.

I on the other hand fell into the passenger seat of my car (my dad was driving) and just began to weep.  I hadn't cried tears like that in a long time.  Through tears I tried to explain to my dad that I wasn't upset because this one little girl had a temper tantrum and shut me out.  I was grieved because I was once again reminded of the depth of the pain and the depth of the wounding these kids possess.  I was reminded that one hosting trip isn't going to 'fix' them.  I was reminded of the depth of ministry needed in the lives of these kids.  I was reminded of the need for prayer.

When I looked into her eyes, and saw the coldness and the anger, I was wrecked.  I had tried to pray and she had silenced me. I was reminded yet again of the battle being waged against these kids.

And just like I expected, the next day at the picnic event, we were once again best friends.  No acknowledgement of the crazy meltdown... just back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. 

I was reading today in the book of Habakkuk. The prayer that the prophet Habakkuk prays in the opening of the book resonates with where my heart was in that moment on Friday. It's called Habakkuk's complaint.

 How long, LORD, must I call for help,

   but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, “Violence!”

   but you do not save?

Why do you make me look at injustice?

 Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?

Destruction and violence are before me;

 there is strife, and conflict abounds.

Therefore the law is paralyzed,

 and justice never prevails.

The wicked hem in the righteous,

 so that justice is perverted.

This 'complaint' sums up so much of the injustice I have witnessed in the orphanages of Ukraine.  The generational sin.  The violence.  The abuse.  The perversion of the law. 

Like Habakkuk, I ask a lot of questions. And like Habakkuk I don't always get the answers I'm looking for.  His prayer comforts me though.  Something is comforting about seeing a prophet ask these kinds of questions too, to see his frustration and the weight he carried on his heart.

I don't doubt that God is working.  I know in my heart that he is using this trip in the lives of these kids and I know these are his babies.  But I am once again reminded of the work that is left to be done.  The walls that need to be torn down and rebuilt.

Habakkuk ends with a thought provoking prayer-- a challenging prayer....

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, 
though the olive crop fails 
and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen 
and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD,  I will be joyful in God my Savior.   

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.  (Habakkuk 3:17-19)        

The words of the prophet remind me that ultimately, no matter what I see around me- God is still God.  I will choose to rejoice because he is my savior- and my strength to keep fighting this fight ultimately comes from Him.  Through the difficult moments on the mountain-- he alone enables me to tread on the heights.  

Monkeys at the Zoo

We took our 13 little monkeys kiddos to the zoo this week!  The Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle was generous to let all 13 of our kids get into the zoo for free and the rest of our host families and kids all received a group discount!  And let me tell you-- it was a ZOO!

Keeping track of all our crew proved challenging and I spent more time watching after our roaming creatures dart to and fro than I did seeing the creatures behind the glass and fences.  I didn't manage to snap nearly as many photos as normal as I was too busy holding onto kids-- but here are a few from our crazy day yesterday.

The kids LOVED it!  For most it was their first trip ever to a zoo.

let me tell you....staging this picture took EFFORT!

Thursday evening we will be having a gospel presentation night and are partnering with some local Russian speakers to put on a program for the kids-- so you can be praying for our team and for the hearts of all these kids.  It has been a great time doing all things 'American'--but ultimately we want them to see and experience the love of Jesus while they are here and for themselves personally.  Please be praying for a meaningful evening.

Just about a week to go! Wow-- the time has gone by fast!

Beach Day!

Yesterday we took all 13 kids to Richmond Beach on the Puget Sound.  After two straight days of rain, the sun finally decided to make an appearance which allowed for a lovely afternoon of picnicking and playing on the beach (gotta love the weather in the Pacific Northwest!).  The water proved too tempting, and despite cool temperatures the kids were diving in!  It was an awesome day of hanging out with our host families and checking in with all the kiddos.

So far everything is going great with the kids. There have been some 'moments' for some of the hosting families- but all in all the kids are doing great and are LOVING their time here in the states!!  Google translator has proved oh so helpful for many of our families! :)

This weekend we have a Ukrainian Buffet dinner hosted by one of the families and next week we head to the zoo and will be going for a day hike!

Kara was our fearless coordinator state-side-- and a dear dear friend